Homesick

Unti-unti ko nang nami miss ang Pilipinas. Bakit ba ang hirap mong makalimutan. Bakit ba palagi kitang naiisip. Namimiss ko na ang patagaktak ng pawis ko sa init ng trapik sa EDSA. Ang fishball at kikyam kaya 50 cents pa rin? Gusto ko nang makipag inuman sa kanto kasama ang mga sunog bagang mga tambay.
Ang taho, balot, penoy, betamax, isaw at tokneneng. Ang magulong palengke. Ang ulan at baha. Ang makukulit kong kapatid na madalas kong kabangayan. Ang mga kakulitan kong mga pinsan. Mga kamag anak namin na hindi ko naman masyado kilala pero oras na makita ako magtatanong ng "Kanino ka bang anak?" Ang maingay na jeep at ang matagtag na tricycle. Ang simbahan sa bayan na madalas tagpuan. Ang barkada na akala mo noon lang nagkita kita kapag magkakasama. Ang aso ko. Ang maliit kong kwarto na tanaw ang sikat ng araw tuwing umaga. Ang mga magulang ko na paborito akong sawayin. Malamang malungkot sila ngayon. Wala kasing nang aasar sa kanila. Minsan prang gustong tumulo ng luha ko. Pero h'wag. Maslalo lang akong malulungkot. Ang hirap pala mag-isa. Napapaisip tuloy ako minsan. Mga ganitong oras nagluluto na siguro si Nanay ng agahan. Siguro naglalaro nanaman ng basketball sa labas ang mga pinsan kong makukulit. Nagsimba siguro sila nung linggo. Madalas siguro kong hinahanap ng tropa. Hindi ko na alam kung pano itutuloy. Kasi masmalulungkot lang ako kapag inalala ko pa ang lahat ng masasaya. Lalo na ang Pasko, bagong taon, birthday at lahat ng okasyon na alam mong ikatutuwa mo kapag nandoon ka. Pero pass muna. Bakante ang upuan ko ngayon sa Pinas. Pag-uwi ko magkikita kita ulit tayo.

The Joy from Happiness

Jim Carrey once said "I wish everyone could experience being rich and famous, so they'd see it wasn't the answer to anything".... I think he was right. There are lot of things here on earth that we take for granted. Thinking that there is something missing in our lives. We keep on finding what we don't have. And finding that "missing thing" doesn't really suffice our needs. Doesn't really make us happy...or joyful i must say.

Joy is different. It is something beyond what happiness is. A lasting feeling of satisfaction. More sincere and unconditional. Doesn't require much to get. Perhaps you have to do is to appreciate more than criticism. As the saying goes "All of the best things in life are free." The air, sunshine, rain...everything that is already there but we often take for granted. The morning sky, a greeting from a friend, an empty parking slot, a message of sweet nothings, a "thank you". We didn't buy them, yet somehow it makes us feel better. We feel blessed for we are appreciated.

Thank you Lord.

Chasing What You've Chosen

Destiny. Is it a self proclaimed fact that you are compelled to pursue? Or a mere truth of responsibility? Whatever it means, I guess I have to admit that I’m engaged in the Industry I’ve chosen to take as far as my life goes. When I was at the terminal of high school entering college, I was really reluctant about the course I will be taking. Suddenly, it was Architecture. Why?Actually, it was the first on the course list (since it starts with A). Then as the years goes on in college, I woke up one day that I’m engaged with it and I gave passion through it. After so many trials I’ve worked with, there are times that I just wanted to turn back and raise the white flag. But in the end, I’m still pushed through the limits of my capacity. Moreover, Here I am still working with drawings, plans, talking with people engaged in construction.

Well of course I am having fun with my work. But will this be forever? I asked myself. I’m looking forward for a better niche and I find working abroad as an option.
I have so many plans. For myself, my family and the things that I love. I’m caught in the middle now. But I know in the end things will go my way. Coz everything perfectly fits for a cause. Perhaps sometimes you really have to know what it is.