What a life?

Days really fly so fast. I will be celebrating my birthdays after two weeks and I'm not getting any younger at twenty five. So what's in an age? It has been always a mind boggling topic for me to come and think about how people age and how it materializes into steps in life where you find your fate unpredictable. I always look up to something whenever i get older. I start to realize the things that I have, the things I've made, and my plans for the future. Suddenly, I am a bit scared with a feeling of being challenged on how I grasp life.

I am young. And this has been a fact for so many years that I try so hard to avoid thinking about how my life would be ten or twenty years from now. However, it is really an obsession of my mind to analyze the life of other people and reflect myself through it. Whenever I meet or hear a story about a person, I begin to seek interesting details about life. The bachelor years, career, marriage, family, children, etc. And all of these things I delineate in my mind a timeframe of a person's life. In order for me to analyze in a more tangible way.

Most of the people I look after to are the professionals or I'd rather say career-oriented people. Because it seems to be a realistic manifestation of a good life (in my opinion). However I also see life of common people. Based on what I saw, most people who chose to concentrate on their career had much chances of getting a stable life. Since most of them tend not to get married right away. A life being single. Where most of the chances are visible without any hesitation. A life with no strings attached where you have enough time and freedom to take the best opportunities. More time being you and building yourself for the better until you finally giving up all these for the family. This is one way of how I visualize life into a perspective. But nevertheless, you can't really perfect life nor predict what will happen afterwards.

The Down Syndrome

I really don't know what I am feeling right now. I'm always attacked by the feeling of insecurity and there's no way i can find to cure it. It's more like a cardiac arrest and maybe writing this may help to outburst the pain I am experiencing.

It was a good start today at work. Just got a fairly good cheer from my co-workers. But end up really unwell because of unpredicted situation i wasn't able to handle. I am the project manager of a construction site and I find it really challenging for my career to have an opportunity like this. Considering I am still in the inception of the industry. It is a small project though I am in charge of everything from planning and design up to the supervision and quality inspection. Beside me handling this project is Kudur, a Syrian sidekick working for my Arab boss for almost twelve years and Shaheen, a Pakistani working as a freelance electrician for almost ten years. It was a "Good Group" as my boss said and indeed it was. And to come and think about it, I am really proud that though being a newbie, I was given a good break for the start seeing the importance of my position regardless of the few experience I've had.

We had a good deal and a smooth sailing workflow. However, I am quite reluctant and skeptical about the stability and my situation being the head of the Project team. Maybe because of the inferiority complex that suddenly kills me. It starts when my boss seeks for the report of Kudur regarding the project situation. Since Kudur has worked for my boss for a long time, he has already gained the trust of my boss to all the business transactions including some personal errands of my boss, Kudur is always there. Most of the time I felt like i was "left behind". Perhaps because I am young, or maybe I don't know arabic which is practically the language used since most of the people here don't speak and understand English.

Can't really do anything to stop this anxiety at the moment. I hope it will just be frozen in oblivion.

Homesick

Unti-unti ko nang nami miss ang Pilipinas. Bakit ba ang hirap mong makalimutan. Bakit ba palagi kitang naiisip. Namimiss ko na ang patagaktak ng pawis ko sa init ng trapik sa EDSA. Ang fishball at kikyam kaya 50 cents pa rin? Gusto ko nang makipag inuman sa kanto kasama ang mga sunog bagang mga tambay.
Ang taho, balot, penoy, betamax, isaw at tokneneng. Ang magulong palengke. Ang ulan at baha. Ang makukulit kong kapatid na madalas kong kabangayan. Ang mga kakulitan kong mga pinsan. Mga kamag anak namin na hindi ko naman masyado kilala pero oras na makita ako magtatanong ng "Kanino ka bang anak?" Ang maingay na jeep at ang matagtag na tricycle. Ang simbahan sa bayan na madalas tagpuan. Ang barkada na akala mo noon lang nagkita kita kapag magkakasama. Ang aso ko. Ang maliit kong kwarto na tanaw ang sikat ng araw tuwing umaga. Ang mga magulang ko na paborito akong sawayin. Malamang malungkot sila ngayon. Wala kasing nang aasar sa kanila. Minsan prang gustong tumulo ng luha ko. Pero h'wag. Maslalo lang akong malulungkot. Ang hirap pala mag-isa. Napapaisip tuloy ako minsan. Mga ganitong oras nagluluto na siguro si Nanay ng agahan. Siguro naglalaro nanaman ng basketball sa labas ang mga pinsan kong makukulit. Nagsimba siguro sila nung linggo. Madalas siguro kong hinahanap ng tropa. Hindi ko na alam kung pano itutuloy. Kasi masmalulungkot lang ako kapag inalala ko pa ang lahat ng masasaya. Lalo na ang Pasko, bagong taon, birthday at lahat ng okasyon na alam mong ikatutuwa mo kapag nandoon ka. Pero pass muna. Bakante ang upuan ko ngayon sa Pinas. Pag-uwi ko magkikita kita ulit tayo.

The Joy from Happiness

Jim Carrey once said "I wish everyone could experience being rich and famous, so they'd see it wasn't the answer to anything".... I think he was right. There are lot of things here on earth that we take for granted. Thinking that there is something missing in our lives. We keep on finding what we don't have. And finding that "missing thing" doesn't really suffice our needs. Doesn't really make us happy...or joyful i must say.

Joy is different. It is something beyond what happiness is. A lasting feeling of satisfaction. More sincere and unconditional. Doesn't require much to get. Perhaps you have to do is to appreciate more than criticism. As the saying goes "All of the best things in life are free." The air, sunshine, rain...everything that is already there but we often take for granted. The morning sky, a greeting from a friend, an empty parking slot, a message of sweet nothings, a "thank you". We didn't buy them, yet somehow it makes us feel better. We feel blessed for we are appreciated.

Thank you Lord.

Unsolicited Suggestions of The World

The world has evolved completely from the ancient civilization to the modern day era brought about most of the technology. The sudden innovation of technology really is the prime suspect of all the advancement in the lifestyle of a man. As time goes by, man embraces a new trend of living and this situation is always the starting point of change of human "needs" towards the "wants".

Food, shelter, clothing and others are our basic needs to sustain everyday life. What comes beyond these are the wants. The wants that leads to craving that the world suggests you want them. To start with, the internet. We have lived so many years ago without the internet, without the facebook, without even knowing what has happened to our friends seconds ago. We still breathe air without giving a single tweet or even writing an article on a blog like this. But why do we patronize such unsolicited suggestions? Because we are already a part of a vast change. And living without it means inexistence. The reasonable part of it is that it is profitable. With these constant communication, we try to sell something new that is marketable. Like mobile phones with cameras that suggest you to take pictures of anything and everything you want wherever you are. Phones we used for talking that are now we called android because we can do almost everything on it. Write a blog, watch movies, video chat, play games and so on and so forth.

Come and think about it. Do you really have to watch an HD movie while riding on a train? Do you really have to tell everyone what you are doing right now? what will be your dinner or who's with you at the moment? Is it really important that you assume you have an audience for this blog? Will i die if i didn't watch the latest post on youtube? Let's think again.

According to Maslow, the top of all human needs is self actualization. A stage in which what a man can be, he must be. A life fulfilled without the inferiority. Satisfaction without being what the world suggest you should be.

Basically in the sophistication of life nowadays, it is really hard to obtain self-actualization. For there are lots of things that we think we need. And that part of the culture that tells you what you lack and what you should do. But the real question that we forgot to ask ourselves is "what do we already have?"

NAIA

Who can tell? That i will become an OFW someday. It was two years then since I started writing this blog and most of my posts deal about the life of Filipinos working and living abroad. It was more of a drawing. A question of how would it be like to be an OFW. But what the real thing is for me to reveal now that I am one of them.

It was August 15 of this year when I left the country for the opporunity that called me. An opportunity that I cannot resist. Because chances don't come everyday.

It was my first time to work, live and travel out of the country and this maybe one of the most life changing experiences I have encountered. Mixed emotions, Significant places and important persons that i have been redefined to me as i brace myself for an adventure I am yet to discover.

NAIA. I already knew the meaning of this airport before but it was more of an International airport. I realized that it was a hub of dreams. A terminal filled with scenes that tell you more of a story by just staring people from afar. Some are bread winners, good fathers, loving mothers, expatriates, a happy family, a good son and daughter and many more.

Bottomline is that I am now one of those thousands and thousands of Filipino leaving the life in the Philippines for better opportunities abroad. For family, for self, for career, for the country. Perhaps I can already prove how it feels like to be an OFW. The people who we call "Mga Bagong Bayani."

How to Save a Life?

If someone is falling down the unsteady road, would you try to save a life? Perhaps it will depend if he’s willing to be helped. But if you try to reach out in a way or another, his response shall answer if he needs your help. It’s a matter of choice—to help, be helped, get help. Somebody told me we should help each other for we are one. My delight is also yours, so as my failure. If I see you lose your way and do nothing, the fault will also be mine. For most of the time, I will be your shepherd. For as long as you are willing to be my sheep. I only give instructions to save a life but still it is a choice to get the chance to be saved. This is brotherhood. Life’s a game.

Taking Back Sunday 2

Here I am again over the desk busy working on stuffs that I should work on a beautiful Sunday where everyone rest. I guess this is my life. No Weekends, no Sundays and definitely no playtime. But I still do enjoy being busy right now. I guess this is how life goes on with me. I still thank Him that he provided such opportunities for me. An architect wouldn’t move without projects that’s why I’m lucky to be here. Sacrifices are to be made if you really want to succeed. It’hard but the price worth it. In life, sometimes you have to leave some to gain some. In the end you’ll find out what you’re really looking for and that’s what I’m glad to find out. At this point, I’m clueless about life. It’s a cycle of what’s going on and what will go on. Tomorrow is a new day. Just be thankful.

Dear Uncle Sam

Masaya bang tumira sa inyo? Balita ko maraming mga kamag-anak naming ang patay na patay makatapak sa lugar niyo. Ginawa ang lahat para lang makakuha ng VISA. Maraming akong kakilala na nagpunta sa inyo na yumaman. May mga properyunal, skilled workers at kung sinu-sino pa. Iniwan nila ang pamilya nila sa bahay para puntahan ka at para na rin sa pamilyang iniwan nila. Kahit na mahusay at bihasa pa sila, ikaw pa rin ang nilapitan. Di nagtatagal, isasama rin nila ang buong pamilya nila sa iyo. Masaya nga bang tumira sa iyo? Sino ka ba talaga sa palagay mo? Ikaw ba ang sagot sa problema ng pangangailangan ko? Matutulungan mo nga ba talaga ako? Parang ang simple lang ng tanong ko pero ang hirap intindihin. Siguro kapag sinulatan mo ako may linaw na ang gumugulo sa isipan ko.

Nagmamahal,
Anak ng OFW

Taking Back Sunday

I’ve been so busy with my work since the day I was employed. This is exhilarating at first and quite annoying in the long run. But the bottom line is you get the money, you pay taxes and you become a productive member of the society. I’ve been counting the days until weekend comes, day after day, the office become more of a home to me that it suddenly become my life. Everyday is a working day. No weekends. No time for other necessities of man. Does this life really becoming productive? I can’t even remember the last time I attended a mass or say a prayer at night. Seriously there’s something wrong. I hope I could take back Sundays. A lunch with the family, watch movie with friends, play basketball with younger cousins. How about reading a good book, play with my dog or sit and watch TV all day. I miss weekend.

I Design...

"I Will Keep You Safe and Warm"

_Architect

I am an architect. Not by law but by the power vested in me to create structures that will protect people from harm, to show beauty of nature, to implement movement of people, to appreciate nature, to reminisce the history and therefore create it.
This is my work. This is my job. To design more than what a man could see. More than what man could think. I am concerned of health more than money, dignity more than profit, beauty more than eyes could see.

I am an architect. I build homes for a family, Offices for real professionals, Places for recreation. Elevating heights of building, Churches for sanctuary of spirit, Schools for effective learning. Cities for happy living and a good community. I will secure homes more than before the guard, I will find a way before the road, I will find a view more than an artist, I will give shelter more than a builder. With my hands you are safe, clean, happy and satisfied. More than that I will show you how good the Creator is.

I am an architect and this is my plan. Soaring humanity. This is my way of commanding people. This is my life.

Wet Shoes

I was sitting at the window side of the bus on my way home after a long day of work. It was raining. I was reminded again of my childhood blues. When I was a kid, I always dream of wearing comfortable shoes. I consider it more than a need but a luxury since we can’t afford to buy good ones. Many times happened that I got my feet wet from a wrecked pair of shoes. I accept the mere fact because we’re empty handed most of the time. Since then I said to myself “when I grow up I will have the best pair ever”. I consider my feet so important more than a symbol for the walk I make in life. I think that people are characterized somehow of the shoes they have. Some have white, black, clean and simple. Some are sleek and do have diamonds and some are dirty and worn out. It really depends on how it was used and the places it has stepped. I remembered a line from a tv series said “It is important to have good shoes. It shall bring you to places”. Suddenly I was disturbed by the call of the bus conductor. I’m already on the terminal.
Reaching home, I slowly removed my shoes one after another noticing that it was wet. Now and still wet.

Full Battle Gear

"Teacher Enemy Number One"

When I was a Freshman in the College Years, I had a terror professor. He was capable of eating flesh of student (that’s the way I can describe his teaching strategy) I learned from him the Term Full Battle Gear. Since he was my instructor in Drafting and Design, by the time he says that we should be in Full Battle gear tomorrow, that means that we have to bring complete drafting instruments and materials which includes all the technical pens, triangles, scale, rulers, protractor, pencil and most importantly the T-Square. When you fail to bring the T-square, it means that you’re in hot water. But there are still two options, “GO HOME OR BE DIPPED IN BOILING OIL” (I find it hard to translate I-gisa) But then it was more embarrassing if that teacher caught you drawing without T-square. My classmates had some cool experiences that Architect is a half man half monster teacher. This time they had their drawing instruments ready. The problem is that they weren’t doing the assigned drawing exercise at the moment they get caught. After a minute or two, they were happily asked by our professor what are they doing after seeing them doing some moves of chess facing each other comfortably seated at the drafting table. Suddenly, I heard a deep roaring of thunder when the Professor architect responded and asked them to bring their drawings in front. What happens next is a series of shredded paper constantly blowing at the faces of my two dear classmates. It was a relaxing scene after.

Walk Like You Talk and Talk Like You Walk

In Construction Industry, it is inevitable to meet different people. Architects, engineers, marketing and corporate people. It is very challenging to encounter a conversation with them especially when you’re talking business. On the otherhand, what counts most is that you know what you are talking and what you say speak for yourself. It’s just a matter of how carry things on. Nevertheless, you should have an idea on how to work things out. I really have a fear of talking to people but once you know that you can get his idea, it just run smoothly. I was overwhelmed that I got the opportunity to talk and walk with them. It pushed me a bit to challenge myself to take the Architecture Board Exam in the coming years. But for now, I’m still under observation of my so called niche.

Some of the Longest Lines in the World

Arranged In Any order

1. Line of people outside the wowowee studio.

2. Vehicles stuck in traffic along EDSA.

3. People at the Philippine Overseas Emloyment Administration waiting for their inquiries.

4. Enrollment Line in Public schools and Universities.

5. Line of People getting Lotto ticket.

6. Unemployed Graduates in all Jobfairs.

"A Manifestation of Reality"

The Art Of Spending

"Everything Counts"

Things to Remember

1.Don't Spend more than waht you earn. Proceed to step 2

2. Don't try to budget. Make it then proceed to step three

3. Think of your needs before your wants. Go to the last step

4. Remember Step 1.

Feet On the Ground

"Life Is A Walk"

So what’s new in the world today? Nothing really special. I’m just here for a long journey looking at faces of people and seeing through what they have in life. I’m overwhelmed by the fact that I am working with people from all the walks of life. Professionals, businessmen, regular employees, workers, peasant, elite, people from academe, name them all. From all these different kind of people, I get inspirations, lessons of life that I must have given value. This life must have been a good walk and I hope to see more. Like this blog, it may be meaningless to others. But I want to make it substantial through appreciation of its beauty no matter how vague it may appear.

Chasing What You've Chosen

Destiny. Is it a self proclaimed fact that you are compelled to pursue? Or a mere truth of responsibility? Whatever it means, I guess I have to admit that I’m engaged in the Industry I’ve chosen to take as far as my life goes. When I was at the terminal of high school entering college, I was really reluctant about the course I will be taking. Suddenly, it was Architecture. Why?Actually, it was the first on the course list (since it starts with A). Then as the years goes on in college, I woke up one day that I’m engaged with it and I gave passion through it. After so many trials I’ve worked with, there are times that I just wanted to turn back and raise the white flag. But in the end, I’m still pushed through the limits of my capacity. Moreover, Here I am still working with drawings, plans, talking with people engaged in construction.

Well of course I am having fun with my work. But will this be forever? I asked myself. I’m looking forward for a better niche and I find working abroad as an option.
I have so many plans. For myself, my family and the things that I love. I’m caught in the middle now. But I know in the end things will go my way. Coz everything perfectly fits for a cause. Perhaps sometimes you really have to know what it is.

Leaving on A Jet Plane

I fetched my brother to the airport this morning. Just a simple thought, this was the second time he was leaving for his work abroad. I wondered what’s in a man’s mind when he leaves his own country. A man trying to cope with a new environment, not his own. Far away from his comfort zone.

Last night I went home just to see everyone’s at home sleeping together in one roof for the very moment. It was really a sudden rush of emotion. It was like turning back time when we all are still young, playing, laughing, shouting, crying and teasing one another. Time really fly so fast. Here we are now, taking each other’s life by themselves. Trying to catch the challenges set by life. We’re on our way now. And from what I see now, I’m hopeful with fingers crossed that everything’s gonna be alright in the end.

To you bro, maybe one day you’ll see this. Though we do not talk that much, I know everything that we have to know. For the mean time, thank you and Goodluck and Godbless us. For what time will hold now will be cherished forever. See you back here.

The Old School

What’s good about old school? Let me find the ways. For me, it means doing ways in the conventional way (not talking about the trends.). I have been working with the old school. Which means their age are really twice (even thrice) my age. And I really find hard time coping with them. We have different interest (well of course, because of generation gap) I’m on the era of ipods and psp’s while they are still stuck in the middle of the Paleolithic era. I’m trying to teach some of them, but it’s really hard knowing that they still believe in the notion that the conventional way of say computations. It’s hard to teach something when you don’t believe into something that you use. Probably, they are still at the stage of denial. Denying to themselves that they are left behind of time. If only I could shout to them loudly, I will say “grow up old man!”. But I can’t, it’s not possible.